Solitude

March 2016

I took this picture when the gravity of everything finally sunk in, the height of my grieving. At the time, I was technically homeless, housesitting for my friend while he was away in Asia. I had no real solid foundation to which I could root myself, my entire life was perpetually “up in the air”.

This was a moment when I felt as if I didn’t have a friend in the world; my phone, Skype, email and Facebook Messenger void of signs that anyone cared about my existence.

Hell, I didn’t even get to have my dog.

I wanted this moment documented. I wanted something I could look back on so I could promise myself that I would never feel this way ever again. A reminder that this was the lowest I was going to get.

But then, there was another side to this coin.

2016 had begun in the wake of loss. Part of what I lost through that shitstorm was my fear. What did I have to be afraid of, after all? My fear of the unknown – unknown places, an unknown future – just seemed silly at this point. Obviously, judging by what I had been through, the future is uncertain no matter how solid you think things are.

So yeah, Germany? Bring it on.

Because really, thats the only thought that kept me going.

One thought on “Solitude

  1. That’s a very powerful and intimate moment you chose to share with us… thank you. I love you even that much more ♡

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