Well hello there. Long time no write, I know. I figure this blog is pretty much forgotten about. That’s fine, I have a reason to pick it up again.
I quit my job yesterday.
I took a bold step to really dive headfirst into my culinary career, rather than having to take baby steps due to the time constraints my job put on me. After a long day of fighting traffic for 45 minutes each way and working for 10 hours you can imagine I wasn’t much in the mood to write anything much past a Facebook status, let alone do any cooking. I eventually felt myself losing the skills I worked so hard to teach myself and perfect. I turned into a cubicle rat, inside an air-conditioned sealed building doing a job I hate that had absolutely nothing to do with food. Save for the occasional potluck, but I rarely even had time or energy to give that 100% either. All of a sudden I found myself barrelling toward my 35th birthday and having the joy slowly sucked out of my life.
I’m not the only person affected, my wonderful and arguably saintly boyfriend John has endured my nights of coming home late pissed off or on the verge of tears, either feeling too hopeless to move or blowing up into a mercurial rage over absolutely nothing. Instead of filing a restraining order, he would have dinner ready when I came home, then quietly listen and hold me. What the hell did a basketcase like me do to deserve someone like him?
Something had to change, so I made a decision. I couldn’t live like this anymore. We couldn’t live like this anymore. If I am going to be a chef I am not getting any younger – time is running out. So I handed in my resignation letter and gave the obligatory two weeks notice. No, I don’t plan on sitting around the house eating nachos and watching reruns of Judge Judy.
But I’ll be damned if I sit in another fucking cubicle.
My next job is going to be in a kitchen. Sure, the pay isn’t nearly what I’m making now. I’m aware and prepared. Sure I’ll have my nights of sore feet, sore muscles, burns, cuts, and nervous breakdowns….but all of that will be for what I LOVE. Not just for what pays for my minor Amazon addiction. I think that’s the key right there; Find something you love, and you won’t mind the sacrifices.
But with this major life event I now have lots of free time, which means my life is now a blank canvas. This is the part I’m most excited about, not having anything holding me back from making my life what I want it to be. Today, tomorrow, and the next day are MINE and mine alone to do whatever I want, and my time now belongs to ME (well, at least as of June 12th). I’m excited, I’m terrified, I’m relieved.
But most of all?
I’m finally FREE.